I have been working on a design for a T-Shirt for Grief Beach. It is not as easy as you would think. I want to get my message across with as few words as possible. I want it to look awesome. I want men and women to like it. And I want it to be affordable. I don’t want much…
So in my reflections about T-Shirt slogans, it appears that our society has a lot to say. We wear logos to support sports teams, or companies we like. We wear them to support causes, we wear them to say things we just can’t speak. We are much braver with a talking shirt at times than when using our voice. We wear them to share memories of loved ones, vacations, or just to get a shout out.
Even if you feel the slogans on shirts are not for you, do you read them? I do. I have gotten many a laugh from funny ones, even have wrote down websites from them, just as a man behind me at the convention, leaned over and said I just Googled your site… I was thrilled that the T-Shirt worked, that someone read it and was interested enough to go to my website, but it also felt kinda weird!
I am thinking about anger, the kind that comes with the first stages of grief. Most of us get that. We are angry because our loved one is gone from our lives. We are angry because of the way they died, be it accident, murder, war, sickness… it just makes us angry to know they are gone. We are angry because nobody knows how to help us, nobody knows how we really feel. We are angry at our families, our spouses, and of course we are angry with God, if we believe in him. How could he allow that to happen? But mostly we are angry with ourselves, on so many levels.
I have learned the hard way, keeping hold of all that anger is so destructive to my life. I held it for 4 years, first I was angry at the person who OK’d the improper placement of the guardrail I hit when I wrecked my car and my firstborn son died. Then I was angry at the WA State Attorney that ripped me apart in depositions, and made my life a living hell during the lawsuit. Then I was angry with my first love who became my ex husband from the stress of it all, and the fact that in his grief he chose to hurt me more. But mostly I was angry with myself.
I am a visual person, so when I was tired of being angry at everyone and everything, tired of the anger affecting my physical, spiritual, and emotional health, I had to learn how to release all that “stuff” wrapped up in anger. I couldn’t find a T-Shirt for that! I found ones that said “Cancer Sucks”, all kinds of rude ones… ones that made it obvious the person wearing it was angry… I wanted a T-shirt that would take all my anger out of my soul, and put it on the shirt so everybody else could take some of it away with their eyes. If it could only work that way, seriously, IS THERE A T-SHIRT FOR THAT?
I want one!
Until then, I will use visualization, closing my eyes, and shaking off all the anger off my fingertips to the ground. I imagine it to be hot water dripping off them, and it feels so much better when it is all off my arms. Am I nuts, yeah maybe, but here in the grief world, there is no judgment, we just do what works to help ourselves move forward in our daily lives!
So how do you release your anger, and did you find a T-Shirt for that?