When I was starting my grief journey, I had to teach myself and my children how to cope with the pain on a daily basis. I had to make the statement, “he’s right here in your heart” real to myself and my children. I did this with my Angel Hug.
For myself: I would find a quiet place where I felt safe to just be in the moment. Then I would take my arms and open them up at my sides, and open my clutched fists, and pull my arms into my chest, crossing them over my heart. I would close my eyes, and calm my thoughts. I would visualize a white light of healing energy and love coming down from above, swirling around me. I would just let go and feel this energy, and think of my son’s love, and feel it enter my heart where the emptiness was. I would visualize it as a pulsating force of love, and as the love came in, it pushed the pain out the bottom of my feet into the earth to be dispelled. When I felt the pulsating stop, I would open my eyes, and I would feel amazing! I would be relaxed, peaceful, and the tears would be gone.
We are never alone, we just have to let the love in!
I still do this, even 30 years into my grief journey. I have developed a “quickie” for myself, when out in public. We all have emotional “triggers” that sneak up on us at the worst times…so I can reach up and place my hand over my heart, just for a moment, and give myself a mini hug. People think I have heartburn (yeah you could call it that) or I am going to burp…but what I am doing is reminding myself of the love to push the pain away. It allows me to stay composed in public.
For my children: I would sit or stand behind them, (ages 3 and 8 when I taught them) and have them cross their hearts with open hands, and wrap my arms around them crossing their heart also. I would talk them thru the visualization, and help them to learn how to do this themselves. We would feel the love together, and push the pain out together. We grieved together.
You can call it God’s Love, Angel’s Love, Spirits Love…I just call it LOVE, and it comes from all that is. Love gets us thru the days one breath at a time. And when you let the love in, there is not so much room for the pain.
The words below go well with an Angel Hug:
When tomorrow starts without me
and I am not here to see…
If the sun should rise and find your
eyes filled with tears for me.
I wish so much you wouldn’t cry
The way you did today…
While thinking many things
we didn’t get to say.
I know how much you loved me,
as much as I love you…
And each time you think of me,
I know you’ll miss me too.
So when tomorrow starts without me,
don’t think we’re far apart…
For every time you think of me,
I’m right here in your heart.
~Author Unknown (shortened version)